Normally I am known to my faithful readers (all three of you) as the High Priestess of Happy, always at the ready with a chirpy word to lift the spirits or the rose-colored glasses to see the can of Fresca as half full.
Today though, I feel the forces of darkness and melancholy descending upon bite-size portions of my countenance. From whence does this come? I’ve been wrestling with a tough as nails question in the past few days that begs but does not receive an easy answer. The query is this…why is it that many people view me as a product and personality with an expiration date? That I’m thought of as a means and not an end…a stopover in this crazy whirlwind we call life, but not a destination? Permanence thy name is not TLRG.
People befriend me, love me, take my marrow of life and leave. They move away, find new cliques, marry the clinically boring and leave me in the lurch. Like an ancient mystic or Grecian oracle, individuals come to me, seek truth, beauty and growth from my spirit and then go live their enlightened lives elsewhere. Perhaps this is my gift to the world. My generosity, my humanity, my wisened point of view..Sometimes I must confess though that my world is a very quiet place to be.
My perplexity only grows as I see world class witches and warlocks filled with vitriol who attract followers and friends to them like fervent flies while I am loyal, true, and giving to a fault and end up talking to my walls. Dr. Phil would say I’m creating this reality by my actions, but I patently do not believe it. I have analyzed my situation from the couches of Freud, Jung and others and I see no fatal flaw in my practical, reasoned approach to life. I remain open and giving, if a bit more naggahide tough, hoping that people will see fit to abide in me and focusing on my sources of shining light. You know who you are and how ever so grateful I am to have your loving flames to keep me warm. Nevertheless, this vexes me so. I am not a needy person. I am strong and require very little from others in this life. I don’t want co-dependents just people willing to accompany me as fellow travelers on the journey ahead. If only Mr. Darby could come to my rescue..hee..hee..
P.S. Never fear, I’ll likely be back talking of rainbows and flying, pretty purple unicorns tomorrow.:cheer: