Since my ex was in the army, the APFT requirements were well ingrained into my mind, and became the standard against which I measured myself. It took far less time than I could have imagined for me to max what used to be the ‘best’ run time for 17-21 year old males, 2 miles in 11:34. I’m sure he could still beat me with push-ups, but I can max the requirements for sit-ups, I’m smarter, and I’ve always been a better shot.

The military isn’t for me, but apparently running is :p
It’s interesting that you say ‘them’, it seems pretty common. Even among people who run ‘just because’ there is always ‘them’ and rarely ‘us’. I’ve run in places that are popular for runners, and often have people who want to run with me because I set a challenging pace. The thing I find most interesting about these ‘friendships’ is how much subtle intimacy can develop with so little conversation or obvious communication.

There’s not enough breath (especially at 8000 feet), time, or desire to talk. There’s nothing but the path. One person or another will get to know my routes and times and make an obvious effort to find me and either slow down or catch up, rather than run alone, but it’s almost never more than a group of four and often such a crowd will turn into pairs who eventually go different ways.

My favorite parts are when after a mile I say ‘want a challenge?’ and head off into the woods, or the other person will say ‘my turn’ and we enjoy some other scenery that I’ve never seen. The conversation is rarely more than that. The red, sweaty, exausted but determined smile at seeing each other says a lot.

Once in awhile, someone who shouldn’t really know anything about me will want to stop somewhere, mile 4 is most common. She or he will say something like ‘want to take a break then go further than usual?’ and it’s always on those days when it sounds like a good idea to me. That’s when they decide to talk about some profoundly personal things that just aren’t talked about with strangers, and I’m stranger than most.

Since I first ran, I decided that I’m going to be a lesbian for now, maybe forever. One time I had the most incredible conversation with another girl on one of those ‘time to talk’ breaks. It was the beginning of an amazing relationship, the only relationship that really stands out by the fact that there was nothing negative while it lasted, nothing negative about the end. We started off running, ended the same way, but at least we weren’t running from each other.

After every run I notice how physical exhaustion also quiets the mind. There simply isn’t enough energy for all the thinking and mental gymnastics like whatever various inner conflicts and indecision might otherwise be there. There’s such a sense of spaciousness and freedom that things become much clearer. Decisions between left and right become choices between vanilla and chocolate, and I come to see that I can have one, the other, both, or neither, rather than have to pick one or the other.

I love it, I hope it still works for you, and I am pretty sure you have a mind that can see far below the surface in many things. Running is just one very simple example of an underlying principle in any sort of immersion in an activity. You have a powerful mind. Always remember to go with the flow. I don’t mean that in the misinterpreted sense of laziness. I mean follow the path you understand, things that come easy should be explored to their depths. Don’t get stuck on obstructions. It’s like if you ‘get’ calculus, then delve into it and take steps to go deeper. If you don’t get chemistry, then don’t try to force it, that would be time and effort wasted. Consider the depths that can be achieved with what flows versus the shallows that have to be fought for. What’s ultimately more valuable, knowledge of the deepest mystery or understanding of something else that is relatively basic?

–(some other little and getting smaller running redhead)